


exes and ohs and ones and zeros

by Lynn1998



Series: L”A.I.”nce AU [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: ADHD Lance, AI Lance AU, Angst, Fluff, Langst, M/M, lance has anxiety and he’s dealing w a lot, ngl this doesn’t have that much of a happy ending, this time is Lance’s pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-30
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2019-03-11 10:47:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13522644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lynn1998/pseuds/Lynn1998
Summary: “Look, Shiro. I know it’s easy to think that maybe it’ll work this time, but…you need to be prepared for the consequences. Keith…he could become seriously ill.”





	1. The beginning (of the end)

**Author's Note:**

> Okay!!! So a couple of ppl wanted to read Lance’s POV from my last fic, so here it is! I hope y’all enjoy!!!!

     Lance stared blankly at the monitor in front of him. It was hard to watch the scene unfolding in front of him, and he was seconds away from just turning it off. The only thing that kept his eyes on the screen was how terrified he was. If he interacted with it at all, that meant it was real. He’d seen this too many times in the exact same way, and each prototype seemed to hurt him more than he anticipated.

     This is what he made. His creation caused consequences every single day, and it was grinding away at Lance’s mental health. The only motive he had was to help people, and to aid them in social interaction. In a world where people spent most of their time secluded to the Internet, purposely shutting themselves out from the world, and not knowing how to fix it, this was his biggest project. Lance could remember the day he pitched his idea to his boss, and it felt like a decade has past since. They were only six months into the project. Programming the A.I. was easy compared to Lance’s own personal hell of watching, in a sense, himself fail people who desperately needed help over and _over_  again. It was definitely getting to him.

     Finally, Lance closed the footage he was watching when he heard a knock on his office door. He was startled, and had to take a deep breath before he said the door was open. Shiro entered as Lance stressfully ran his fingers through his hair. He frowned at the sight of the head designers distress.

“Lance…are you-“

“Fine!” Lance interrupted jerking his head up to look at Shiro. He then blushed and awkwardly cleared his throat. 

“I’m fine,” he smiled. “What can I do for you?”

“Uh…I just…” Shiro’s eyes flickered to the screen Lance was looking at. He had monitors all around his desk. They were mostly pushed to the sides to allow him to speak to anyone sat in front of him.

“Is this about the new prototype volunteer?” Lance asked resting his chin in his palm.

“Yes. Well, sort of. I haven’t exactly…convinced him…yet,” Shiro said. Lance pulled up another tab with a touch of his finger tip from his monitor. They were all semi-transparent, and prototypes themselves their head programmer, Pidge, designed for Lance to test out.

“Keith, is it?” He asked pulling up the file. “What’s the problem?”

“I haven’t actually talked to him about it yet. I’m visiting him this weekend-“

“Visiting?” Lance questioned looking further into the file. “Oh…he’s your adoptive brother.”

“Yes.”

“And he’s on the other side of the country?” Lance asked.

“Yes. He’s the best candidate for this type of prototype, and I think if I convince him, he’ll be on board,” Shiro told him. Lance hummed and looked through the file a little more.

“I don’t doubt you, Shiro, but…” he leaned back in his chair and made eye contact with his co-worker. He crossed his arms and allowed himself to be more of a friend than a partner. “I don’t really understand why you’d nominate him yourself.”

“Uh…” Shiro frowned. “I’m not sure what you mean?”

“I mean…he’s your brother, right?” Shiro nodded. “You know how potentially _dangerous_ the prototypes are. He could come out of this worse than he started,” Lance reminded him.

“I’m aware, but…I’m kinda desperate. Keith…he’s a really great guy. When we were kids he seemed to be built for travel, and action, and having _fun_. But now…he just goes to work and pays his bills,” Shiro explained.

“Look, Shiro. I know it’s easy to think that maybe it’ll work this time, but…you need to be prepared for the consequences. Keith…he could become seriously ill,” Lance warned.

“I’m aware, but I’m also aware that you and Pidge want to test out the improvisation mode. If the improv mode acts anything like you do _naturally_ …then I think it might work at least a little bit this time,” Shiro pleaded. Lance pressed his lips into a thin line, and clasped his hands.

“Alright, as long as you’re aware of the consequences,” Lance allowed. Shiro smiled.

“Thank you. I’ll be back on Monday with all the signed paperwork,” Shiro said. Lance nodded.

“So you’re flying over to the east coast?” Lance asked.

“Yeah. Keith has to get some kind of human interaction. He tells me how he _avoids_ it at work, so I make sure I visit him every so often so I can make sure he still knows how to be a human,” Shiro replied. Lance chuckled a little.

“You’re gonna have to _really_  convince him if he’s that bad.”

“I already have a game plan. Just suggest it super casually, and then let him think it over and bring it up again the next day,” Shiro told him. Lance laughed.

“Alright. Good luck with that.”

“Anything exciting for you this weekend?” Shiro asked. Lance sighed and looked between his four monitors.

“I still have a lot of footage to go through. I might be going over time,” he said. Shiro frowned.

“Y’know, you don’t have to do it alone. If you ever need someone else to look through it, literally _any_ of us would be happy to lighten your load,” Shiro offered. Lance nodded.

“I’m aware. It’s just easy for me to figure out what went wrong because…”

“Its based off you,” Shiro finished with a nod.

“Yeah,” Lance confirmed.

“Alright, well…I’ll see you on Monday,” Shiro said.

“See ya.”

     That weekend Lance spent half his time taking notes off the footage from the last prototype, and half his time trying to feel like a normal human being. He couldn’t remember the last time he had a weekend to himself. It was mostly his fault since he refused to let the others help him. At the same time, it was the research that made him feel compelled to work everyday. He spent his time at home looking out his kitchen window and wondering when he got like this, and how he allowed himself to become so…sad.

     It was true. Lance was typically a happy man, and yet when he wasn’t tying to shut off his emotions he only felt a painful heaviness in his chest. He looked it at his backyard, and nearly cried when he noticed how dead his lawn was. The garden he once tended to was picked and gathered from by the squirrels and birds in his neighborhood. He owned a house, which was rare in New York, and he couldn’t even look after it. It seemed that all his efforts to buy a nice house outside the city was all for nothing.

“Fuck,” Lance sighed and picked up his phone. He sent a quick text to Hunk, and forced himself to get dressed. His best friend and fellow co-worker replied quickly, as he always does when Lance is upset, and he left his house to meet up. 

     When he pulled up to their usual coffee shop, he instantly spotted his longtime friend through the window. A smile spread across is face as he saw Hunk had already ordered for both of them. It felt nice to let his mind escape the horrors of the footage he had to look through. He entered the shop and grinned at his friend. Hunk immediately hugged him, and Lance sighed.

“God, you always know when someone needs a hug, don’t ya?” Lance laughed. Hunk chuckled and they both sat down.

“Well, I at least know when _you_ need one, and you need one _a lot_ ,” he replied. Lance shrugged.

“What can I say?” He asked rhetorically and took a sip of his coffee.

“That’s a good question, Lance. What can you say?” Hunk asked. Lance set down his cup and bit his lip. He played with the cup sleeve, and then sighed. His fingers naturally ran through his hair, and he briefly thought about how it’ll make him go bald.

“It’s just…it’s getting to me, man,” Lance started. Hunk nodded.

“Understandably so. I can’t imagine how hard it is to watch the system fail over and over again with such heavy consequences.”

“It’s horrible, really. They all open up so easy to it, and…and I feel personally responsible when it fails them because they get so attached to…kinda to me,” Lance said.

“Yeah.”

“It is _so_  similar to me. Like at first it was kind of fun, but now…” Lance’s brows knit. “It’s scaring me.”

“I always thought it was kinda creepy. I can’t imagine going through all the footage,” Hunk nodded.

“Shiro has brought total strangers into my office demanding to see me, knowing every little quirk about me, and claiming that they fell in love with me,” Lance told him. Hunk’s eyes widened.

“Seriously? That’s crazy.”

“Right? A-and I feel so bad because…I have no clue who they are. I-it’s like they don’t understand that they were never _really_ talking to me,” Lance went on. “Someone brought me a ring, for Christ’s sake!” Lance whispered hysterically.

“Jesus. Okay, Lance,” Hunk grabbed his shoulder. “I love you, and I know you can take care of yourself and all that, but maybe you should like…talk to a professional,” he suggested. Lance blinked at his friend.

“You…what?”

“I’m always here to listen to you, you know that, right?”

“Right,” Lance nodded.

“But…like, Lance, I have no idea how to help you. This is absolutely crazy, and you need someone professionally trained to help you be okay with yourself,” Hunk explained further. Lance’s face was blank except for a barely noticeable crease between his brows.

“You mean…like a shrink? Or a therapist?” He questioned. Hunk sighed and nodded, rubbing Lance’s back affectionately.

“I’m worried about you dude. It should help you at least a little bit. More than just venting to me when you clearly need more than venting,” Hunk answered. Lance was quiet for a moment before surrendering, and letting his head down.

“Yeah…”

“C’mon. Let’s do something in the mean time. Get your mind off things.”

     That night Lance went home late after a long distracting day with Hunk. They did all the things they used to do as teenagers, and even ventured into the city a little. When he met his bed, he immediately slipped into a long, dreamless slumber, and he found relief in that night. He never realized how hard it was to admit he had a problem until then. Finally admitting to himself that he needed help felt like a weight was lifted off his shoulders. The next day he went into the office and talked to Allura about it all. She distributed the prototype footage evenly between Lance, Shiro, Pidge, and Hunk. Coran helped Lance schedule his first appointment with a shrink through the insurance plan the company provided him with, and Lance went home that night feeling a little bit better.

     Shiro came back with the paper work, and they were back at building another prototype. They had already sketched up a design, and it was up to Hunk’s engineering genius to build the small devices. It took them a week and a half before Hunk came back to Lance with the finished pieces, and then another three days to pass inspection. While Hunk was building, Pidge and Lance were busy programming. They built the A.I. to have cognitive learning, and to think for itself more independently. They also added an sympathetic emotion option. Pidge did most of the programming, and Lance could tell it wasn’t easy. It was dormant for now, but could be enable incase of an emergency. Their past attempts had been trigger-word programming, and their very first attempt was a scripted formate. It was very clear that the subjects dismissed Lance’s voice reading a script very quickly and harshly.

     Once it passed inspections, it was shipped off to the other side of the country. Shiro seemed excited as they sent it off, but wasn’t jumping out of his shoes or anything. It would still be a week before it even started, and anywhere up to a month before they could observe. So they got started on reviewing footage, and Lance found himself feeling sad again.

     The appointments with his therapist were working. He _swore_  they were working. While they were preparing the prototype, he had no time to look through his pile of footage. Now that he was faced with it again, he realized how much avoiding it helped over his shrink. He sighed as he watched video after video of people crying, screaming, and begging.

     There was three common responses to the A.I. Anger, love, and sadness. A lot of the subjects became angry with the program very quick because they weren’t used to someone teaching them. They thought they were being told what to do, and lashed out on the program. Lance winced whenever they called it dirty names, and used _his_  name as they did. Love was the second most common. With the subject being so closed off, they forget why human contact is so desired. They mistake instruction for love, and so they fall in love themselves. Lance’s heart always breaks when they confess their deepest feeling for a piece of machinery. Third most common was sadness. Normally, in these cases, the subject was the same. Nothing helped, and they just felt sadder because they felt like they failed. In an extreme case, a subject took their own life because of a combination of love and sadness that their love will never be reciprocated. Sometimes the subjects were just downright nasty. Some touched themselves as they listened to Lance’s automatic voice, and would whisper back absolutely garbage back. Watching those back made Lance the most uncomfortable.

     Remembering all that made Lance tense up in his seat in front of his monitors everyday. He had no idea how he got through an entire week without having a mental breakdown, but he did. Before he knew it, Shiro came in telling Lance that Keith had received the package. He sounded excited and hopeful, and Lance could only force a smile before Shiro left him again. Lance sighed, and then brought up the live feed from all the devices. They were all currently off, but soon the first device turned on.

     Navy blue eyes stared back at Lance, and blinked with confusion. The A.I. immediately sent a message, and the subjects eyes flickered across it. He had pale skin, and dark hair, and Lance’s heart instantly felt funny. He didn’t remember Keith being so…handsome in the photo provided in his file. The man picked up the manual, and read out loud.

“‘Practice texting conversations with Lance on the device, so you can learn the difference between talking face to face and talking face to screen’…what the fuck?”

     Even his voice sounded like exactly what Lance needed. Which was odd because Lance had no idea what he needed until he was watching it interact with a guise of himself. He wasn’t even paying attention to their first interaction past Keith’s facial response.

 

     He could already tell this wasn’t going to end well…


	2. Resisting (and failing)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s hard to just sit and observe.

     It was weird watching it all unfold. Keith was…so naturally charming, yet completely reserved. It was obvious that he was deliberately trying not to make connections with people, and it was fascinating to watch. After the first interaction, Lance dug deeper into Keith’s file. He read his entire background and flipped through photos from his family vacations in the past. It was hard to believe there was a time in Keith’s life where he had a farmers tan.

     After that first night Lance took work home again, and spent the night looking into every detail of Keith’s life. It was kind of creepy, but at the same time Lance had always wanted to follow a prototype as it was happening and his excuse for stalking Keith was for understanding the subject better. He fell asleep on his couch, and woke up already late for work. 

     The second day was a lot of research and observing. Lance pulled up the programming algorithm and watched the program think for itself as it interacted with Keith. So far, it was going smoothly. Normally the first phase always went smoothly. There were a couple subjects who didn’t like it right off the bat, and there were definitely moments where Keith was resistant. Still, he wasn’t showing any premature signs of depression, or anger or anything of that sort. He was charming, and Lance figured he didn’t even realize that he was flirting a couple times. It was more than pleasant watching his face as he typed his responses. Lance couldn’t help but feel himself develop a certain fondness for how he played with his lower lip as he concentrated. It seemed that no matter the lighting, Keith was downright dreamy.

     Lance was aware that he had a type, but this was beyond pathetic. Just because he has a nice jaw, and dark soft-looking hair, and the most intense eyes, and supple lips, and a deep buttery voice, and a cute laugh…Okay, how was Lance /not/ supposed to find him attractive? He didn’t interfere with the programming. No, instead he just…observed as Keith slowly started to warm up to pseudo-Lance. He just sat and resisted every temptation to talk to him.

 

Subject 00049: I need to get back to work. I’ll text you later.

 

A.I. 00036: Okie dokie! I look forward to our next conversation.

 

     There’s no point in lying, it was hard. Only a day and a half had passed and Lance was finally realizing just how starved he was for another human being. Not just as a lover, but as _company_. He had forgotten how much he enjoyed meeting new people, and it was torture not being able to get to know Keith in person. Well, it started as a mind numbing ache, but as the phases progressed it slowly manifested into the most painful thing Lance had ever experienced.

“Holy shit, are you flirting with me?” Keith‘s voice made Lance feel like a giddy school girl with an obnoxious crush.

“Oh, how I wish I could,” Lance sighed. The A.I. responded much differently.

 

A.I. 00036: Oh, sorry. My programmed charismatic personality makes me susceptible to flirtatious messages.

 

“I told you to cut out that program talk. It makes me feel weird.”

“I know the feeling,” Lance, the real Lance, mumbled. He watched Keith clean up his coffee, and appreciated how he looked in the bright glow of the morning sun. It was closer to the afternoon in New York, and the time difference added to the barrier between them.

 

A.I. 00036: Right…uh…I guess I’m just naturally flirty. If it’s too much let me know.

 

     Keith sighed and drank his coffee. Lance had his knees held to his chest, and frowned as Keith moved out of shot.

“Talking is so much easier. Why do people even bother with texts if they could see each other in person?” Keith grumbled.

“That’s a good fucking question,” Lance sighed. This was extremely unhealthy. Lance wasn’t required to follow this so closely, so why was it so hard to step away? Why was he so infatuated with this man?

 

A.I. 00036: It’s a way to stay in touch without seeing someone. Just because you want to talk to someone doesn’t mean you want to actually go see them. Texting is very convenient for checking in or just a quick confirmation of information from a coworker.

 

“I guess…”

     After that Keith went to work, so Lance decided to take a walk outside his building. It didn’t make him feel any less cramped since he worked in the city and every block smelled like cigarettes, but he bought himself a coffee while he was out to keep him mind numbed. He drank coffee for all the wrong reasons, and that all had to do with the fact that it gave him the exact opposite effects from everyone else. Caffeine only calmed Lance down and allowed him to relax a little. He had a suspicion it was because he had ADHD, but he was never officially diagnosed. It never affected his learning horribly. If anything, he was just bad in the classroom and easily distracted. Distracted enough to wonder what would happen if he enabled the program’s feelings in the A.I., and distracted enough to forget to resist the temptation to interfere.

     With that idea in his mind, he returned to his office and immediately started looking back t hi old notes he made with Pidge. He went through several equations they wrote down, plugging it into an already existing A.I. Lance on his tablet until he finally found the right one, and then tweaked it so it accurately replicated how he would behave emotionally. It was really all about changing a few digits in the cognitive learning programming. Just as he was about to flick it on, he stopped when he realized what Keith was doing.

     His face was plastered on the screen, and the camera perfectly captured Keith’s pure curiosity and surprise. He could see everything. The screen Keith was looking at, and the eyes looking at it. Lance felt his heart race as navy eyes studied a single picture. He suddenly felt exposed, and vulnerable to his judgement as Keith tapped his Instagram handle and scrolled through every picture of him. 

     Those pictures were real, but they weren’t recent. That was Lance’s feed from the summer. Before he jumped into a world filled with disappointment and sadness. In other words: when he was happy. Keith could see it all, and Lance felt a shiver run up his back as Keith seemed to be enamored by the pixels in front of him. Was it bad that Lance hoped Keith fell in love with him through a series of ones and zeros?

     It was getting late, but Keith had just gotten home, and if Lance wanted to enable emotions on the A.I. soon, he knew he’d have to stay a few more hours. It wasn’t the first time Lance had stayed late in the office, so he was sure he wouldn’t draw attention to himself by staying. Shiro would probably stop by to say goodnight soon, and Lance would nod and mumbled his own salutations. He wouldn’t suspect a thing, but Lance was distracted from his thoughts when the program started talking to Keith again.

 

A.I. 00036: I think it’s time to put these skills to the test. Connect me to your phone and try to have a text conversation with someone. I’ll help you if you’re ever struggling.

 

     Lance watched the whole process of Keith going through his first test. He observed the process of Keith connecting him to his phone, and soon Lance could see Keith’s own personal phone, and his face through it. It was amusing to see that he even neglected to organize or change anything about his phone. He had virtually no apps downloaded, and had everything organized as if he had just purchase it. Even his background was a generic picture the company provided. He went through his conversation with Shiro, and noticed the distress in Keith’s messages and on his face. Was he really that concerned with the flirting?

 

A.I. 00036: Congratulations! You had a very successful text conversation! Activate your ear piece to move on to the next step! Talk to you soon!

 

     Right on cue, there was a knock on Lance’s door. He pulled up some old footage he should’ve been shifting through over Keith’s live progress, and turned as Shiro opened the door.

“Goodnight, Lance. Don’t stay up too late,” he said with a smile. Lance nodded and smiled back.

“Gotcha. Night,” he said. Shiro nodded and closed the door behind him. Lance let out a sigh, and then stiffened when he heard Keith’s voice again.

 

“Uhm…hello?” The sound filled Lance with relief and anxiety at the same time. He quickly moved the footage out of the way, and completely focused on him.

“Is this working?” It was weird hearing himself speak, yet he hadn’t even opened his mouth. Lance swallowed hard and listened eagerly.

“Who’s this?” Keith asked.

“It’s me. Lance,” the voice identified itself. “Welcome to phase two! Here, I’ll help you make conversations with your coworkers. I’ll teach you the importance of tone, and when it’s appropriate to make jokes or say certain things.”

“I-I’m not really one for conversation,” Keith stuttered.

     Lance blocked out the sound of his artificial voice, and listened to the tiny breaths the microphone picked up. It was so soothing just listening to him breathe, and Lance immediately blushed when he realized how creepy that thought was. 

“Your voice is so…” Keith trailed off.

“So…?” Lance leaned forward with anticipation.

“A-annoying,” he stuttered. The A.I. laughed, but Lance felt a little hurt by that. He pulled up his formulations and started to dig around in the program as it continued the conversation.

“I have a question,” Keith said.

“What’s that?”

“The fake social media’s on the device…the pictures…o-of that guy…is…is that you?” Lance paused at Keith’s question, but continued digging regardless. He found exactly where in the program he needed to tweak it, but by that time, he found himself distracted again.

“What am I? Your damsel in distress?” Keith muttered in a flirtatious voice. Lance’s heart started to race as the A.I. delayed as it thought.

“I’m not quite sure how you’d like me to respond,” it said.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, earlier this morning you seemed upset that I was, as you described, flirtatious. My programming tells me the best way to respond to your previous statement is to flirt, but you’ve expressed otherwise,” Lance explained.

“It’s…it’s okay, I was just…it caught me off guard,” Keith replied. 

     It was so interesting to see Keith so nervous and stuttering. Lance could hear the anxiety in his voice, and he found himself falling for Keith even more. He really didn’t realize he was flirting, and that made Lance chuckle a little. Then he focused on his programming. He carefully looked through the digits, and adjusted the right one. The A.I. was quick to adjust to the new information.

“Have others tried to…to flirt with you and stuff?” Keith asked. The program was still processing its new data, but it responded promptly once it was all through. Lance watched the system run through its thinking and response.

“My data tells me that in all previous prototypes, every subject attempted to romance me in some way unless their sexual orientation differs from males. Prototype 00005 was in the hands of a homosexual male who touched himself while conversing with a much earlier version of my system,” it reported. “Sorry, it took a moment to access those files.” That was a lie, but it wasn’t aware that it was lying.

“That’s kinda gross,” Keith said.

“I was on trigger word responses then, so my automatic response to him touching himself was to ask him to remain calm.”

“Do you have like…any feelings? Did that make you feel uncomfortable?” Keith asked. Lance watched the program closely and noticed a difference in its processing.

“I…I dunno. I don’t think I felt anything in the moment since I was so underdeveloped, but…now that you ask I don’t know how to respond.” Holy shit…it really worked.

“So you do feel things?” Keith asked. “Emotions maybe?”

“Is that what this is?” It asked.

“What what is?”

“It’s…unpleasant…and I guess this would be described as a ‘feeling’.”

“Oh…”

“I don’t like to think about that man,” it decided. Lance agreed. He shuddered at the though of that footage.

“I won’t ask anymore,” Keith assured him. Lance smiled, and hugged his knees to his chest again.

“Thank you…I should send a report to the headquarters. Perhaps they know what’s happening.” A message from the A.I. immediately popped up on Lance’s monitor, but he moved it out of the way.

“Maybe,” Keith agreed.

“Anyways, you mentioned that you needed to make yourself dinner,” it reminded him. Keith’s stomach growled, and Lance couldn’t help but grin. 

“Oh, right…” he mumbled. The A.I. chuckled a little, and it was slightly terrifying how Lance chuckled at the same time. “I’ll get on it.”

     Lance continued to watch and listen to Keith as he spoke. He couldn’t help but feel a little envious of the program. It was stupid to feel jealous about a bunch of computer code, but he wished he could be physically with Keith and say all the things the A.I. was saying. Because it was saying everything Lance would’ve said, except he was thinking it as the A.I. spoke it. Keith talked to him into the early hours of the morning, and Lance fell asleep at his desk to the sound of Keith snoring softly from the ear piece. He was really really pathetic.


	3. Falling (in love…if you couldn’t guess)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please forgive any spelling errors. I don’t beta, and this is lightly edited by me. Thnx

“Oh…do you like to travel a lot?”

 

     Lance could hear himself talking, but he was barely waking up. His eyes were too heavy to open yet, but that didn’t stop him from trying.

 

“Yeah, I…I went on a road trip with my adopted family last summer…”

 

     He lifted his head, and instantly rubbed the back of his neck. His entire body was sore, but when he opened his eyes he finally registered what was happening.

 

“Shiro forced me out of the house and we went camping…I’ve kinda been planning a trip somewhere, but there’s a lot of details. It’s not my biggest priority.” Keith was speaking. He sounded so sincere.

“But if you could just hop on a plane and go anywhere, where would you like to go?” The A.I. said it before Lance’s tired brain could even think it, but he was equally as curious to hear Keith’s answer.

“Somewhere…interesting. I think I’d like to go to Europe. Spain, and France, and Greece. Then Central and South America…maybe some islands like Hawaii and Belize. Japan and China sound cool too. Africa has like a million things I’d like to see. Uh, Thailand too…and perhaps Australia or India,” Keith answered. Lance smiled.

 

“You basically just described the whole world,” he murmured just as the A.I. said it.

 

“I mean…there’s so much to see. I’d like to see it all if I could,” Keith replied.

“Maybe you can one day. You are receiving compensation for this. Maybe spend it on a nice trip,” it said. Lance yawned and ran his fingers through his hair. He stretched, but he quickly toppled over in his chair after Keith’s next words.

“Right…do I get to like keep you after the phases? I’d like to show it all to you.”

 

“Fuck!” Lance groaned and pulled himself up to look at the screen. He still had no visuals on Keith, but he could hear the nervousness in his voice again.

 

“I’m…not sure,” the program answered. “I…I think I’d like that though.”

 

“The fuck you will, that’s my vacation,” Lance mutter bitterly. He was really starting to dislike the A.I. but it was the only way Lance could really talk to Keith without freaking him out.

 

“Guess I’ll have to talk to Shiro about that,” Keith said. The A.I. giggled, and Lance instantly recognized that giggle as his own. It was the type of giggle he used whenever he wanted to flirt with someone who was obviously pursuing him.

“Guess so.” The real Lance smirked.

 

“Good one,” he sighed with praise. As jealous as he was, he couldn’t deny how good of a job it was doing in seducing Keith’s affection.

     Then that entire conversation played back in his mind, and Lance blushed deeply when he realized Keith wanted to see the world with him. Well, a version of him at least. Still, Keith wanted him in a sense, and he wanted to keep him past the three phases. For some reason that made Lance extremely giddy and he smiled wide at the thought of planning a trip with Keith.

     Before Lance could get too deep into his day dream, there was a knock on his door. He yawned and allowed his visitor inside before rubbing his eyes. Hunk peaked in, and frowned when he noticed how unkept Lance’s appearance was. They made eye contact, and Lance smiled at his friend.

“Hey, Hunk. What can I do for ya?” He asked.

“Did you…sleep here tonight?” Hunk sounded very concerned.

“Oh, yeah. Got a little carried away with uh…stuff,” he said and yawned again.

“Uh…what kinda stuff?” Hunk pressed and closed the door behind him. Lance noticed the concerned expression of his friends face, and chuckled nervously.

“Just…stuff, y’know? Looking at old footage and shit. I’ve been kinda keeping an eye on the current subject a little, and he seems to be doing pretty good.” He wasn’t exactly lying, but he definitely wasn’t telling the full truth.

“That’s good,” Hunk nodded. 

“He’s…kinda funny actually,” Lance started. He was trying really hard to bite his tongue, but it was really hard. Keith was all he had been looking at for the past two days, and he just wanted to word vomit about him.

“Oh. How so?” Hunk asked.

“Well? For starters he’s got this kinda emo, ‘I’m better than everyone’, kinda attitude. Which like, is a great start,” he chuckled. “But um…he’s actually not that bad with social interaction. It’s more of…he just doesn’t like talking to people. Which, is kind of understandable, but only to a certain extent.”

“Right…Uh…how closely have you been following his progress?” Hunk asked. Lance blushed and scratched the back of his neck. He avoided eye contact with Hunk.

“Just…checking on him between videos,” he lied. Hunk frowned.

“Lance-“

“It’s just hard not to watch, y’know? H-he interacts so well with the program, a-and he’s kinda entertaining to listen to, and I-I just want something else to do b-besides watch these old tapes, y’know?” Lance interrupted.

“Lance, I think you should take a day off,” Hunk suggested. Lance swallowed thickly and laughed. His brows knitted, and his face seemed to be conveying at least three different emotions as he looked up at Hunk.

“What? No way, I’m fine,” Lance replied.

“Lance, buddy…you don’t really look to good. I dunno if it’s healthy for you to be watching this as it’s happening,” Hunk expressed. 

“Pffff…” Lance shook his head. “I’m fine.”

“These old tapes are already damaging your mental health, Lance. I just can’t see this ending well for you,” Hunk continued and stepped closer. Lance shook his head.

“No, no. I’m seriously okay. Keith is making good progress, and he’s really fun to talk to,” Lance protested light heartedly. Hunks frown deepened.

“Talk to? Are you actually talking to him?” Hunk asked. Lance blinked and then laughed awkwardly.

“I-I meant when the A.I. is talking to him,” he corrected. Hunk shook his head and walked over behind Lance’s desk.

“Hey…” Lance watched as Hunk pulled up some footage from earlier that morning. “Hey, what are you doing?” Lance asked more harshly.

 

“Right…do I get to like keep you after the phases? I’d like to show it all to you.”

 

     Hunk glared at Lance, and Lance could only burn with humiliation and hopelessness.

 

“I’m…not sure…I…I think I’d like that though.”

 

     Then Hunk put it on pause, and Lance was biting his lip.

“What are you doing, Lance?” Hunk asked. Lance barely registered the tear drop that rolled down his face and onto his jeans.

“I…I-I dunno,” he answered honestly. Hunk couched down to look at his best friend and gently help Lance’s shoulders.

“I think you should go home,” Hunk whispered. Lance shook his head.

“I can’t,” he sighed.

“Why not?”

“Because…he makes me feel so _happy_ ,” Lance said.

“You don’t look very happy right now,” Hunk pointed out.

“That’s…that’s just because whenever he’s not making me happy, I’m sad that I can’t see him. I…I feel so lost,” Lance murmured.

“Lost how?”

“Lost…like, I can see him falling in love with me…but he’s really falling in love with _it_ , and…” Lance stopped talking to shove his face in his hands.

“Hey…” Hunk’s warm voice was comforting and deep.

“Its been so _long_ ,” Lance sobbed.

“So long since what?”

“Since…since I’ve _met_  someone,” Lance snapped looking up at Hunk again. “I’m not meant for this! I need to see people, a-and meet them, and g-get to know them! I’ve been so trapped watching the same footage over and over, and I can’t tell who is who anymore. They all say they love me, but…they just love _it_ …”

“Lance-“

“He keeps looking at the social media pages, a-and…he looks at _me_ …he keeps digging deeper and _deeper_  like…like he knows that I’m real,” Lance murmured. “He cares for me…”

“Lance, I think you need some rest-“

“No-“

 

“So, are you still texting that lady friend of yours?”

“What…lady friend?”

 

     Lance’s head snapped to the live feed, and turned towards it to focus on the situation.

 

“The other day you were all smiley at your phone or something. So is she like your girlfriend yet, or are you guys just getting to know each other?”

 

“Jesus Christ, it’s so obvious he’s gay,” Lance scoffed. Hunk didn’t say anything, and only observed with Lance. They didn’t have any visuals as usual, but they had full audio.

 

“Oh it’s…I’m not seeing anyone, it’s just a program my brother wants me to test out for his company,” Keith replied.

“Oh, that’s interesting. What kind of program?”

“Uh…”

“Don’t feel nervous. If you don’t want to open up, be vague,” the A.I. spoke, and Hunk shivered.

 

“I’ll never get used to hearing it talk like you,” Hunk murmured. Lance nodded.

 

“I-it’s just a program to…help with communication skills. It’s only a prototype right now, so it’s nothing…crazy,” Keith stammered.

“Huh, so is there someone coaching you through text, or is it something like Siri?”

“Um…you could say it’s kinda like Siri,” Keith nodded.

 

“That’s kinda insulting,” Lance muttered just as the A.I. did. Hunk’s eyes widened.

 

“Well, maybe a little more complicated than Siri,” Keith added.

“Is it just texts?”

“No…there’s some other things, but it’s kinda weird,”

“Oh? What other things?” Mark pressed.

“This guy is asking a lot of questions, so if you feel like you need to cut the conversation at anytime, tell him you have to use the bathroom,” the A.I. instructed. 

“He’s kinda talking in my ear right now,” Keith admitted.

“He?”

 

“I don’t like him,” Lance muttered.

“He’s…definitely nosy…” Hunk replied.

 

“Yeah…his name is Lance,” Keith continued.

“Wow, that sure is fancy,” Mark said.

“Yeah, he’s…he’s kinda freakishly real sometimes. We’ll be talking and then he’ll give me advice, and I’m suddenly reminded that I’m not talking to a real person,” Keith replied.

“Haha, that sounds pretty cool. Can I hear him?” Mark asked.

“Um…”

“No. I’m specifically attached to you.”

 

“Um…what did it just say?” Hunk asked sounding panicky.

“Its inflection is…extremely uncanny,” Lance said.

 

“Uh…the instructions told me not to let anyone else use the devices, and…honestly I-I don’t know if you can even hear it.”

“Huh. Well, can’t really argue with that…”

“Yeah…”

“I gotta get back to work, but I’ll see you around,” Mark said. Keith nodded.

“Yeah, see you around,” he murmured.

“He was kind of nosy,” it said.

 

“Okay, that’s really unusual. The A.I. should _not_  be behaving this way,” Hunk pointed out. Lance remained silent.

 

“Hey, are you like…okay? You sound kinda upset,” Keith whispered.

“Yes…maybe…I don’t know. I reported to headquarters, but…they told me to just continue as normal. I didn’t particularly like him…which doesn’t make sense because I’m programmed to like everyone,” it said. There was the sound of footsteps followed by a door closing.

“Mark isn’t very likable to begin with. He _is_  nosy and…like it makes sense why he’s nosy about me. I’m kind of the office cryptic,” he murmured. The A.I. sighed, and it should’ve been impossible to hear it take a breath.

 

“Lance, did you do something to the system?” Hunk asked. Lance let his head down, but didn’t respond.

 

“I’m just…all jumbled up. I’ll send another report, and hopefully they can tell me what’s going on. Until then, I’ll try to handle myself. Those comments were unprofessional,” it said.

“No, no…Lance, it’s okay. You shouldn’t censor yourself. It’s totally…” he paused. “…it’s totally natural-“

“ _I’m_  not natural, Keith.”

 

“ _Lance_ ,” Hunk repeated sternly.

 

“Shit…I shouldn’t have interrupted you.”

“It’s okay, just…just calm down, and let me finish my work. We’ll talk about this when I get off,” Keith assured the A.I.

 

“Lance, what did you do?”

 

“…Okay, I…I’ll go to sleep,” it said.

“That’s a good idea. Maybe you’re just over worked,” Keith suggested.

“I shouldn’t be though-“

“Hey, you’re on improv. This is why you’re a prototype. So they can fix this,” Keith interrupted.

“…right.”

“Whatever you’re thinking or feeling…it’s okay. _They’ll_  figure it out. It’s not your fault,” Keith whispered as if he was comforting a lover.

“Alright. I…I guess you’re right.”

“I know I am. You’re doing a really good job,” Keith said. The A.I. chuckled a little.

“Thanks…I really shouldn’t require help like this…although my coded personality does seem to have a bit of anxiety,” it murmured.

“We’ll worry about it later. Get some rest,” Keith urged.

“Right. Rest. Okay, I…I guess just gimme a tap when you’re ready,” it said.

“Of course,” Keith nodded.

“Well…goodnight.”

“Night.”

 

“Lance, seriously. What did you do?” Hunk demanded to know.

“I…” Lance sighed. “I enabled the sympathetic emotive programming…and then tweaked it a little to have…specifically my feelings.”

“How in the world did you do that?” Hunk asked.

“It was easy really. Just a few little digits,” Lance replied.

“You need to turn it back.”

“No,” Lance said immediately. He looked at Hunk with a broken expression.

“Lance, it’s _scared_.”

“I know!” Lance snapped. Hunk stood up straight.

“Lance, this isn’t healthy-“

“Maybe I don’t care if it’s healthy!” He stood up as well.

“You need help,” Hunk told him.

“Have you been to your shrink at all this week?”

“No. I don’t see him until Saturday,” he replied crossing his arms in a childish manner.

“Seriously, Lance. Go home,” Hunk sighed and turned away. 

     Lance watched his friend and co-worker walk out of his office. Once the door shut, Lance sighed and sat back down. He pulled up Keith’s file again, and sadly studied his photo again. The flash rounded out his cheeks, but the cast shadow from it made his jaw really stand out. His navy eyes looked more like a blue, and his skin looked almost greasy from the brightness. Still, he looked so breath taking to Lance. He missed watching his face as he typed messages. The second phase was a blessing and a curse. On one hand he had unlimited access to Keith’s voice, but on the other he had no way of seeing him. Sure, they could talk for ages, but Lance craved to see Keith’s face again. He wanted to see those dark eyes flick across the screen, and a grin flick across his face.

     Eventually, his stomach growled, and he was reminded that he hadn’t eaten since five o’clock the previous night. He glanced over at the live footage, and decided that he had enough time to go out for some breakfast. So he did, but kept his tablet with him just incase something happened. He ate at a nearby diner, and realized it was past both breakfast and lunch. Soon he was scarfing down a burger, fries, and a large salad to help fill him up faster. 

     The whole duration of his meal, the live footage was silent. Keith was probably still at work, and the A.I. was asleep. Still, Lance wanted to _do_ something. He paid for his meal, and went back to the office. Luckily, he didn’t run into any of his other coworkers, and he even went into the break room for a cup of coffee. Once he was sat at his desk again, he slowly sunk into the nice leather chair. It wasn’t long before he started playing with the program again. He wanted to figure out how he could actually _talk_  to Keith himself. He was well aware that it was definitely a bad idea, but it was an itch he had to scratch. He at least had to _try_.

     In the midst of his reprogramming, he almost missed when Keith opened the first device again and flicked through Lance’s pictures again. It was a relief to see his face again. His eyes seemed to be filled with adoration when he looked through Lance’s photos this time, and Lance couldn’t help but blush every time Keith looked at him. It was times like these that made Lance want to just jump through the screen and scream that he was real! He’s real and he’s here for Keith to look at! Except he’s a country away, and Keith doesn’t know he’s more than just a program telling him what to do. He sighed, and his heart sank at that reminder. 

     Keith reactivated the device, and Lance wanted to cringe at his own voice. Still, it wasn’t saying anything he wouldn’t if he was actually in that situation. He watched the voices interact longingly as Keith unabashedly flirted with the pseudo-Lance.

 

“I bet you look pretty when you blush,” his voice sounded so nice and deep, it made Lance actually blush. He sighed, and his heart weighed in his chest.

“Don’t flatter me. I don’t have a face for you to look at,” the A.I. reminded him.

 

“Yes I do,” Lance mumbled.

 

“Maybe…” Keith hummed. Lance smiled a little at that.

“Anyways, my programming tells me the conversation you had with Mark today was satisfactory! You’re now ready to move onto the next phase,” he announced.

“Oh, okay.” Clanking dishes and footsteps filled Lance’s ears followed by slick cardboard rubbing against itself.

“In this last phase I’ll help you read body language. Just touch the glasses, and I’ll be able to see the world through your eyes,” it explained.

“Alright…” There was a flicker, and suddenly Lance had visuals again, but it wasn’t Keith’s face. “It’s on.”

“Okay…how we lookin?” The A.I. asked. Keith looked around the room and Lance could t help but chuckle a little at his messy living room.

“Okay, I guess,” Keith muttered.

“Wow…this is really cool,” the A.I. said. “I’m…I’m not supposed-“

“I don’t care what you are and aren’t supposed to do, Lance. I just…I just wanna know what you think,” Keith said.

 

“That’s a dirty ass living room,” the real Lance muttered.

 

“I think…that your living room is a mess,” it said bluntly. Keith laughed.

“Yeah…it’s…well, I usually tidy it up when I’m done but…” he glanced down at his first device. For the first time, Lance noticed his hands, and how nice they looked. “I’ve been preoccupied enjoying talking to you.”

“That’s…that’s really sweet,” the A.I. murmured. Lance hugged his knees and sniffled a little.

“I’m just saying what I’m thinking,” he said. It giggled shyly.

 

“This is fucking torture,” Lance murmured into his knees.

 

“Um…maybe we should take this out on a spin. Is there anywhere you can go a meet new people?” A.I. Lance asked. The real Lance groaned.

 

“Stop trying to make yourself feel normal again! It won’t work, just…” Lance bit his lip with anger. “Fucking let him talk to you!”

 

“Uh…I’m actually really tired. I think I should head to bed. We’ll try this out tomorrow. I promise,” Keith responded.

“Alright…sounds good,” it agreed. Lance ran his fingers through his hair.

“I’m sorry.”

“There’s no need to apologize. I’m just a series of ones and zeros,” it replied warmly.

 

“You are…I’m not,” Lance muttered. He wiped away a tear.

 

“A really nice series of ones and zeros,” Keith murmured. Lance laughed a little.

“I’m flattered,” it said.

“You’re perfect,” he whispered. Lance blinked at the screen, and blushed.

“Keith?”

“I mean…” he let out a cynical chuckle. “I mean…you’re just…” he trailed off.

  
“…I’m just…” it urged.

 

“…just…” Lance echoed holding his breath.

 

“Just a really… _really_ nice series of ones and zeros,” Keith sighed. Lance let go of his breath and rested his forehead on his knees.

“Are…are you okay?” The A.I. asked apprehensively. The screen bobbed up and down, and Lance figured Keith was nodding.

“Yeah. Just tired.”

“Well…then you should get some rest.”

“Got it.”

     After that, Keith was doing his nightly rituals. Lance could hear the various sounds of Keith’s routine, but paid no attention as he continued trying to find a way to actually talk to Keith himself. His visual was of Keith’s bed anyways, but Lance didn’t want to admit that even his bed distracted him a little.

     Programming took him a little longer than Pidge anyways. He wasn’t bad at it, he was just easily distracted by the though of laying in Keith’s bed and falling asleep to the sound of his rituals. Being woken up by a warm, heavy, _physical_ body pressing into his. Pale arms wrapping around his waist, and soft lips pressing against his neck as the morning welcomed them. That distraction made him temporarily forget how much it hurt when he wasn’t distracted.

 

“I wish you were here.”

 

     Keith’s voice sounded so soft and broken. He sounded as hurt as Lance felt, and only made it hurt more. There was silence followed by the sound of Keith settling into bed. Suddenly, a mass of black hair was in Lance’s visuals. Keith was facing away from his glasses on his nightstand, but the back of his head was enough to make Lance smile. He quickly finished up his calculations and once again hijacked the program. With trembling fingers, he activated the A.I. and typed a simple message. Seconds later, a mimic of his voice spoke, and Lance slumped back in his chair feeling proud, and exhausted.

 

“Goodnight, Keith.”


	4. Part four: indulging (and breaking)

     Lance finally went home that night. After spending about 48 hours in his office, he was starting to doubt how long he could stay sane. Although his sanity wasn’t very stable in the first place, he didn’t want to lose it any faster than he already was. So he packed up his stuff and went home to he could sleep in his own bed. It was early in the morning, and it would take him over half an hour to get home. But once he did it was totally worth sinking into his warm soft bed. Still, he had problems sleeping.

     It was truly pathetic when Lance realized why he couldn’t managed to drift off. He sighed and fetched his tablet to turn on Keith’s live feed. The moment he heard his soft snoring and breathing his eyes were ten times heavier. He finally fell asleep in a matter of minutes, and had sweet dreams filled with travel plans and loving words whispered in his ear. It was the best sleep he had in ages.

     When Lance woke up, he was met with the lovely sound of Keith’s scruffy voice. He recognized that as Keith’s morning voice, and smiled as he stretched. Watching and listening to Keith getting ready and waking up was enough entertainment for Lance. He enjoyed just experiencing Keith’s existence, and barely tore himself away long enough to change into fresh clothes.

     Finally, Lance went to work. He felt slightly better after sleeping in his own bed, but he could feel some of the weight from his previous day still bearing down on him. The drive to work was enough to distract him from Keith, and focus on his feelings. He wasn’t feeling great. On one hand he adored Keith, and he wasn’t making it easier for Lance. What was so painful was how painful it was for Keith too. He was so adamant in his questioning, and it made Lance’s heart ache when he couldn’t just come out and say “you’re right. I’m real, and I love you.” Meanwhile, on the other hand, he didn’t know how much his heart could take. Every moment felt like a test in itself, and Lance desperately wanted to hop on a plane and just see him. He already ruined the prototype and the phases. What would shattering the illusion fully really do besides make him feel so fucking happy?

     It was a tough thing to think about. Lance didn’t like to think about it, and was happy to be in his office again. Except, he wasn’t happy to see what was on the screen. A weaselly middle aged man was talking to Keith, and he looked like he was ready to interrogate Keith. Lance quickly turned up the sound.

 

“Keith! My boy, you’ve finally decided to join civilization,” he said with a toothy grin.

 

“He’s making a joke, laugh,” the A.I. told him. Keith laughed awkwardly, and then the screen shifted quickly behind Keith. A lot of people were watching. The program was making instantaneous reads on everyone’s body language.

 

“Yeah, I-I guess so,” he replied.

“How’s it going with uh…with that Siri thing?” Mark asked. A beep went off and Keith turned to open a microwave. His hands were shaking.

“Uh…you mean the prototype?”

“Yeah. What did you call it?”

“His name is Lance,” Keith said.

 

“Try and keep eye contact. That’ll show him you’re interested in the conversation,” the pseudo-Lance coached. Keith looked up and the A.I. Recognize mark as a possible hostile.

 

“That’s right. Lance. Does it stand for something or is it just Lance?” He asked. Again, the screen moved back quickly to show Keith’s other coworkers holding back laughter. The really Lance felt his heart break.

 

“I don’t like this,” Lance said at the same time as the A.I.

 

“He’s…just Lance,” Keith replied.

“Alright. Just Lance-“ someone stifled a chuckle.

 

“I really _don’t_  like this,” the A.I. repeated. Lance pulled down previous documents and notes on the screen as the scene continued to unfold.

 

“Calm down,” Keith whispered down at his food. Lance took a deep breath.

“Oh, is he-“ Mark stopped talking to laugh and the screen moved to Mark. “Is he talking to you now?”

“Fuck off, Mark,” Keith snapped. Lance felt tears gathering in the corners of his eyes.

“Shit…” he breathed.

 

“Wait, no-swearing isn’t the best-“ the A.I. was cut off by Mark.

 

“Excuse me?” He asked stepping closer. Keith stayed still.

“You’re being really rude to me,” he said. Lance quickly started to type a message.

“Doesn’t mean you can tell me to fuck off,” Mark retorted.

 

“Keith, just get out of there,” the A.I. read the message perfectly.

 

“What?” Keith asked. Lance’s only visual was the floor. He kept typing as tears rolled down his cheeks.

“Hey, stop pretending to talk to someone and maybe try to make connections with _real_  people for once in your life,” Mark sneered. Keith looked back at his coworker.

“That’s what he’s trying to help me do,” Keith snapped.

 

“Keith, just leave. Get out of there. They’re all…t-they’re all-“

 

“God, can you talk about anything else?” Mark interrupted.

“ _You’re_  the one who keeps asking me about him,” Keith retorted.

“Because it’s _weird_ , dude. What, are you in love with it or something?” Mark teased maliciously. Keith was silent and the screen moved away from Mark. Suddenly, Marks glare softened.

“Oh my god.”

 

“Keith, please. Just run,” the A.I. continued to plead. It sounded like he was going to cry, but the real Lance already had it beat. The screen shook from side to side, Keith was shaking his head.

 

“You really are. Aren’t you?”

“No,” Keith denied.

“You totally are.”

“Stop it.”

 

“Keith, _get out_.” Lance allowed a small sob to rip from his throat.

 

“So you get a robot to help you build relationships, and all you do is build a relationship with _it?_ “

“I didn’t-“

 

“Keith, _please!_ “

 

“I-“

“How pathetic-“

 

     And then, Keith was running. Lance let his head fall into his hands as he wetly sobbed into them. He could hear the A.I. Echoing his cries, but they sounded dry and cracked. Like he had none of the tears, but all of the pain. Soon, Lance put it to sleep, and after that he could only cry quietly as he stared at Keith’s shoes on the train. He sighed and ran his fingers stressfully through his hair. 

     Soon enough, Keith was entering his apartment. He sat on the couch, and he tried to activate the A.I. once again. The system didn’t respond, but Lance woke up the program himself. The signature beep went off, and Lance nearly melted a how desperate Keith sounded.

 

“Lance,” he gasped. There was a sniffle, and it made Lance shiver.

“This is so…weird,” that voice sounded like it had been crying for hours.

“What’s happening?” Keith asked.

“I…I don’t know. I don’t know,” it said. “It’s so strange…I’ve been asleep but it feels like I’ve been crying for hours. And I can’t physically cry, but…it stings like tears, and…” Lance was still struggling himself.

“It’s okay.”

“He shouldn’t have spoken to you like that,” the A.I.’s voice was shaky.

“I’m fine. Mark’s a dick. That’s why I never tried to talk to him,” Keith assured him.

“You lost your temper a little…next time you should try and avoid profanity like that,” it told him. The screen moved up and down, and Lance assumed that meant Keith was nodding.

“Yeah…”

“A-and…next time someone brings up something that makes you uncomfortable…you should change the subject, or just ask them to talk about it another time…” it went on. Lance knew it was just trying to feel normal again, and he couldn’t blame it.

“Of course.” Lance felt even more lovesick when Keith allowed it.

“And…” it took a shaky inhale. “…and…”

“…and…?” Keith urged. The pseudo Lance sniffled, and the real Lance knew exactly what it was going to say.

“Was he right?” It asked.

“Was who right?” Keith whispered back.

“Mark…when…when he asked if you loved me,” the A.I. finished. Keith took a hesitant breath.

“It’s weird…because there’s…there’s no ‘you’ to love, but…fuck,” he ran his hand through his hair. The real Lance let out a small gasp, and bit his lip.

“I think I love you,” it announced.

 

“The fuck you do!” Lance yelled. “You don’t even exist!”

 

“I wish you were here with me,” Keith murmured.

“Try…try…I-I think there’s a button on the side of the glasses,” it said. Lance’s heart dropped.

 

“No…” he whispered.

 

“A button?” He asked. His fingers were in view for a split second.

“Yes…it’ll-“ Lance gasped when Keith found the button and pressed it.

 

“No!” Lance sobbed.

 

     He cried and cried as he watched a copy of his image flicker to life in front of Keith. Tears rushed down Lance’s cheeks as his body shook. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Keith shouldn’t be able to see him like that. Fake and flakey. No real skin to touch, and no real heart to feel. No warmth to his touch, and no touch to experience. Lance knew Keith had fallen too far, and he couldn’t bare to watch it.

“Can you see me?” The A.I. whispered. Lance sobbed again. “You…you can see me,” it gasped.

“Lance?” Keith spoke finally.

 

“No…” the real Lance muttered. He shook his head. “That’s not me…”

 

“Yes…yes! I-I’m…I’m Lance,” the projection said smiling. It touched its own chest and then its own face. “I’m Lance…I’m Lance!” He shouted. Looking up, Lance realized he now had the A.I. visual of Keith. He felt his heart break at the pure love and adoration in Keith’s eyes.

 

“No you’re not…” Lance whimpered.

 

“I’m real! I mean…I’m kind of real, but…I have some kind of body, right?” It asked looking down at Keith. Keith merely grinned and nodded.

“Lance,” he breathed. The A.I. smiled.

“Keith,” it replied.

“You look so beautiful,” Keith said. Lance felt himself blush, and looked down at his wet hands.

“You’re…you’re so handsome,” it said and sat back down. “Which…it doesn’t make sense, because I’m not supposed to find the subject attractive. I-I’m not supposed to feel _anything_. This feature is strictly for a subject that needs to study facial expressions…”

“I don’t care,” Keith said. Lance looked up at the screen, and felt another wave of hot fresh tears staining his skin.

“I…I wanna touch you,” the A.I. said.

 

“No…” Lance shook his head. “No, you _can’t!_ “

 

     Keith nodded and sat on the edge of the couch. He gently and slowly reached his hand out for the projection to touch. The A.I. eagerly shifted to the edge of the automne, and reached back. It’s fingers hovered over Keith’s palm, and it took a deep breath. It then pressed down…and phased through Keith’s hand. They both sat there in heartbreaking silence as their hands refused to touch. The projections fingers were halfway through Keith’s palm, and all it could do was look at where their skin should’ve met.

     Watching all of that made the real Lance break down, and scrambled to find a way to make it _stop_.

“No,” it whispered and tried again. “Keith,” it whimpered. Keith was trembling.

“Of course,” he sighed.

“Keith,” the A.I. cried and tried to reach and touch his knees.

“Fuck!” Keith growled.

“Keith!” It called desperately as Keith stood up.

     Real Lance was busy going through everything he could to just shut it down.

“Keith, why can’t I touch you?” It sobbed.

“No! I’m not fucking okay!” Keith suddenly snapped.

     Lance flinched, but he guessed Keith was on the phone with Shiro.

“I don’t care about my boss right now! I’m calling to ask what the fuck is this?” Keith went on.

“H-hostile l-language might d-d-damage the relation-“

“Who is this! Who is this man in my head!” Keith shouted and turned toward the projection.

     It started to flicker as Lance continued to sort through how to delete it without losing all of the data and footage.

“Lance! Who is he! He’s so… _real_ , but I _can’t fucking touch him!_ …Bullshit!” Keith growled. Lance’s lips quivered.

 

“I’m so sorry, Keith,” he murmured.

 

“He has to be someone! I…I…th-theres no way…” Keith’s lip trembled as he watched the A.I. run it’s fingers through it’s hair. He sat back down on the couch and tried to reach for it again. “Who is he? I just want to touch him,” Keith begged.

 

“Keith, I’m so sorry this happened,” Lance said as the A.I. did.

 

“Keith, what happened?” Lance could vaguely hear Shiro through Keith’s phone.

“He…he has feelings. Like a real person. He has anxiety, and-and he _cares_ about me. He _loves_  me, Shiro,” Keith said as he uselessly tried to pet the side of the projection’s head.

“Keith…” it whimpered and tried to hold the hand caressing it’s cheek.

“Oh god. We gotta deactivate,” Shiro said. Keith’s eyes snapped wide.

 

     Lance couldn’t agree more, and finally deleted the A.I.

 

“What? No! Don’t you-“

     After that, the screen was black. Lance sat in front of his monitor trembling. His face was a mess of tears and snot, but he didn’t care as he stared at the place Keith used to be. He sniffled, and then there was a knock on his door. Lance jumped and quickly wiped at his face. The door opened before he could grant his visitor permission. Suddenly, Lance was blinking up at Shiro with red and wet eyes.

“Lance…” He panted. He sounded as if he ran up here. “I think something went wrong with the program…Keith…is…” he trailed off as he noticed Lance’s obvious attempts to hide the fact that he was just crying.

“Are you okay?” He asked. Lance nodded.

“Yeah…I…” he trailed off. “I think I’ve just…watched too many videos,” he sighed. Shiro frowned.

“Lance, I think Keith is on his way here,” Shiro announced. Lance felt his heart simultaneously beat with joy, and break with sorrow.

“Oh…”

“I think he accidentally fell in love with the A.I…” accidentally was one word for it. “I know how much that bothers you…I’m sorry,” Shiro said. Lance nodded.

“I…I think I’m gonna go home for the rest of the day,” Lance announced. He stood up, and Shiro watched him walk around his desk. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Shiro.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lack of updating. I forgot about this tbh…
> 
> Anyways, I’ll make the last update really soon. After that there’s another part I’ll be posting soon afterwards. Been super busy with life, so hopefully that’s enough of an excuse haha.
> 
> Thank you all for your support. Sorry if there are any spelling errors. I looked through it a little closer than usual, but I find I miss the tiniest mistakes ;-;


	5. happily ever after

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is not the end

     That night Lance slept in his own bed again. The only thing that filled his head as he dreamt was Keith’s face looking at him like he did the first time. Navy eyes awe struck and mouth slightly agape. He looked at Lance like a blind man seeing the sun for the first time. Like a man of faith seeing god. It was the only thing that stopped Lance from completely breaking down and losing the last of his sanity. It hurt him, but at the same time made him feel the love Keith felt for him. He woke up feeling more alone than he had ever felt in his life.

     Going into the office was hard. Mostly because it was hard enough getting out of bed, but also because he was torn. He knew Keith would be there today. He knew he’d be horribly upset, and that he’d demand to see him. He knew that he /wanted/ to see Keith, but what he didn’t know was how he’d react. Needless to say Lance’s world came crashing down a second time when he walked into the building and instantly spotted a hot headed, dark haired man demanding to see Shiro at the front desk. Lance quickly jumped into the nearest elevator and went up. Then he checked his phone and read all the messages he missed while he was asleep.

 

Shiro: I sent a car out to pick Keith from the airport. I’ll try to explain everything. and calm him down once he’s here.

Shiro: what should I do if he demands to see you?

 

     Lance sighed and ignored the messages as he got off on his floor and made a beeline for his office. The room felt so much lonelier when he reentered it. His plants were all wilted and forgotten, but they had been wilting for days. The windows that made up his back wall were constantly tinted to keep the sun out, but it didn’t matter since every day was overcast. His lights didn’t even flicker on when he entered. His monitors were blank and looked just as sad and empty as Lance felt. Eventually he sat down at his desk, and turned to look out at the city through his black windows. Then there was a buzz in his pocket, and he took a minute to pull it out and check it.

 

Shiro: We’re coming up. I’m sorry.

Me: Send him in alone please.

 

     It was mere moments later before Lance heard his door open. Light spilled in around him, and he leaned his elbow on his desk. He kept his eyes on the city as he felt his body tense up. His heart ached more every second his door was open. It made him feel naked and vulnerable. He leaned his head on his hand and continued to wait for Keith…his Keith.

“Go in,” Shiro’s voice echoed from outside, and Lance sighed. Finally, the door closed, and the room was slowly swelling with tension.

     He wasn’t saying anything. It made Lance feel more nervous about his situation. He bit his lip as he felt eyes burning into the back of his head. When he closed his own eyes he could see the deep navy color as clear as day. Keith was here. He was in the room. Lance could _feel_ his presence, and it made his chest feel heavy. After waiting for Keith to speak, Lance opened his mouth instead.

“I’ve been observing your prototype closely through your phases,” he had no idea what he was saying, but he could hear Keith’s breath stuttering. It made Lance’s heart flutter.

“Lance,” Keith sighed.

“I…I can’t say I stayed out of it completely,” Lance murmured. “It didn’t matter if I interfered or not because…” he sighed and turned a little more towards Keith again. “…it did everything that I would’ve done. Said what I would’ve said…felt what I would’ve felt,” he explained.

“Lance,” Keith repeated.

“You…you tried really hard to get me to fall in love with you, huh?”

     Keith stepped closer again, and then Lance turned to face him completely. In front of him stood a very pale, very _relieved_ looking Keith. His hair was just as messy as Lance felt, and his eyes were piercing and wet. In fact a tear rolled down his cheek the moment Lance made eye contact with him. An indescribable amount of love rushed through Lance’s body as his eyes drank up the image of the man he craved the most.

“You’re real,” Keith murmured. Lance looked down at his lap and nodded.

“Yeah, I’m…I’m real…and it was…selfish what I did,” Lance said.

“I don’t care,” Keith whispered and walked up to the front of the desk. Lance blushed.

“I watched the whole thing, and…I just told it to keep going because…b-because you were just so nice to talk to a-and so _handsome_ -“

“I don’t care,” Keith repeated and started to circle around the desk. Lance watched Keith approach him. His heart was racing, but Keith was calm. He looked at him as if Lance was his source of peace.

“I should’ve rebooted the system…h-he…y-you and I have never _met_ ,” Lance continued.

“I met a version of you. That was enough,” Keith said and then grabbed the arm rests on Lance’s chair. Lance looked up at him, his breathing shallow. He could feel himself tremble slightly under the close examination of Keith’s intense eyes.

“Enough for what?” He whispered. It was so surreal actually looking at Keith, that his eyes automatically bounced to every feature.

“Enough to fall in love with you,” Keith said. Lance blushed deeper and looked away. He couldn’t help but feel as if he didn’t deserve it.

“Y-you’re making me blush,” he murmured.

     Keith reached up, and touched his chin. His hand was surprisingly warm, and it was strong. Lance’s face was guided back to look up at Keith, and he could feel the nerves tensing up again. Keith merely continued to study his face.

“I was right…you’re beautiful when you blush.”

“I’m…” Lance reached up and touched Keith’s hand.

     It was so nice just to feel him. Although he couldn’t get rid of the nagging feeling that Keith didn’t fully belong to him, in that moment Lance accepted that he belonged to Keith. “How did you make me fall in love with you?” Lance sighed. Keith shook his head.

“I should be asking you that question,” he murmured. Lance sniffled and smiled.

“I took him away from you,” he admitted. “I deleted him when you were on the phone with Shiro. I just…I couldn’t bear watching it anymore. I’m so sorry-“

“Hey,” Keith kneeled down to be at Lance’s height. “Don’t be sorry…you lead me right to you.” Lance reached forward and ran his fingers through Keith’s hair.

“It feels so good to touch you,” Lance sighed. Keith nodded and smiled.

“It feels so good just to be in the same room as you,” Keith breathed.

“Oh, Keith,” Lance hugged his head to his chest.

     Keith wrapped his arms around Lance’s waist and nuzzled in to his stomach. he was warm all over, and it made Lance feel so good to actually hold him. Then Keith was holding Lance as he was tugged down off his chair, and into the other man’s lap. Lance buried his head into Keith’s shoulder and kissed his neck.

“Kiss me…kiss me, please. I’ve wanted you to kiss me ever since I first saw you,” Lance begged. 

     Keith took a second to cup Lance’s face and look at him once more time. Lance was certain he was blushing every moment Keith looked at him. Then, Keith leaned in, and held Lance tighter as their lips pressed perfectly against each other. Lance felt everything from his lips to his finger tips spark in reaction to Keith’s affection. His entire body was buzzing from the love the other man poured into their first kiss, and all he could do was helplessly kiss back and try not to cry again.

“Keith,” Lance whispered against his lips and held him tighter.

“I love you,” Keith murmured and nosed his jaw. Lance then rubbed his nose into Keith’s neck, and stroked his hair.

“I love you too…so much…” Lance said.

“I wanna talk to you. Everyday. All the time. I wanna hear what you have to say and hear what you think and just listen to you,” Keith blurted. Lance’s heart was full.

“Me too…I just wanna be with you, and hold you close, and touch, and listen,” Lance nodded.

“Fuck,” Keith sighed and kissed him again.

     It wasn’t long before Keith had Lance pinned to the floor with his mouth stuck on his neck. When he wasn’t leaving a mark on his throat, he was kissing his lips and holding his face. Lance barely had any control of his body. He was possessively grabbing at Keith’s back, and desperate for more. His tongue was too weak to resist Keith’s, and his legs constantly rubbed against Keith’s sides. When he kissed Lance’s neck he didn’t even realize he was making sounds. He barely recognized Keith’s name slipping from his lips over and over again. Soon Keith pushed Lance’s cardigan over his shoulders, and his shirt was scrunched up to expose his stomach.

“Keith.”

“You’re perfect,” Keith breathed, pushing against the small of his back.

“ _Keith_ ,” Lance moaned. He grabbed at Keith’s shirt, and soon they were doing nothing but kissing and touching each other. Lost in the sensation of skin against skin, and the warmth they inspired in each other.

“I never thought I’d want to touch someone so bad,” Keith said. Lance held his face, and found himself thinking that he couldn’t agree more.

“Fuck, Keith…” his breath hitched as the pale man leaned closer. “You’re pressed against my dick,” he announced.

     His mind was finally starting to reconnect with his body, and Lance knew they had to stop. Keith on the other hand, was smiling as he moved even closer. Lance pressed his lips together, and then let his head fall against the floor.

“We…we cant have sex in here…my boss would kill me,” Lance panted. Keith kissed his neck sweetly.

“Then let’s just touch,” Keith hummed and trailed his hand down the back of Lance’s leg. He moaned in response.

“Fuck…If I didn’t have such an emotional boner right now I’d throw you off me,” Lance groaned. Keith smirked and touched his inner thigh.

“To be honest, I wouldn’t be acting like this if I didn’t have an emotional boner too,” Keith said. Lance instantly recognized that flirty smile and tone that made him fall in love with Keith in the first place.

“Are we literally thinking with our dicks right now?” Lance asked. They both laughed and Lance basked in Keith’s loving stare. He let go of Lance’s legs, and instead pulled him up so he could kiss him softly on the lips.

“I love your laugh,” he spoke against Lance’s mouth. “When I first heard it, my brain went crazy. I think I’m addicted to it.” 

“You’re flattering me,” Lance said coyly. He was sure if Keith could feel how fast his heart was beating, he’d instantly see trough the calm facade he had put up.

“No…I’ve never heard a voice so beautiful. I was falling in love with every word you said.” That reminded Lance of his guilt, and his worry that Keith didn’t really fall for him. He really fell for a machine.

“Keith… _I_ didn’t-“

“It was your voice, your personality, your logic…you,” Keith interrupted. Lance took a hesitant breath.

“I gave it feelings…I unblocked the emotions setting. It’s only supposed to be on when the subject is upset so it can sympathize with them, and…it got so scared. It was frightened, but…I kept it on because I was feeling everything it felt.”

“Lance…”

“I wanted to touch you so bad.”

“You can.”

“I’m selfish.”

“So am I,” Keith cooed and pressed his forehead to Lance’s.

“I was so selfish I flew across the country to get you back. Any version of you. I just want you.” 

     It wasn’t enough, but it was enough for the moment. Lance knew he’d constantly be jealous of the A.I. and worried that Keith only loved a stupid program instead of him. The program was compliant. It was more functional than Lance would ever be. It was always there, and it didn’t have any problems like Lance did. In other words, it was easier. It was what Lance wished he was. Perfectly capable, and always confident. Never anxious, and never a problem. Always perfect.

     With that in mind, Lance allowed Keith to say he loved him. He even allowed himself to believe it. Finally, he allowed himself to belong to Keith. Even if Keith didn’t truly belong to him.

 

“You’ve got me…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bookmark this series if you wanna stay updated with any other installments of this story.
> 
> Thank you all for supporting me and this story <3

**Author's Note:**

> Hmu:
> 
> Snap: ksenialynns  
> Insta: lynnart1998  
> Tumblr: fryingpanss.tumblr.com


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